 10 Online Dating Safety Tips
When you are dating online, online dating safety is an extremely important consideration. No matter what your age, you are never too old to follow the below internet dating safety tips.
Easton became a member of an online dating service and began corresponding with Dirk, a man two years older than her and only two hours away. They had a lot in common and exchanged photos over the website. They began e-mailing each other, then Instant Messaging, then phoning, getting to know each other and asking a lot of questions. He said he was a med student and was looking for 'just the right one'. She said they just clicked, but when he asked to meet her in person, she hesitated. She'd heard the cautionary stories on TV, knew realistically it could be dangerous meeting a total stranger, but Dirk seemed perfect. Should she take the plunge and meet him? Should she just forget it? Hire a Private Investigator?
No longer are bars, health clubs, office parties, baseball games, supermarkets, libraries the only places to meet Mr. Perfect. Many women today are turning to online dating services for a variety of reasons: Friendship, casual dating, convenience, shared interests, even a soul mate. Some of these dating services screen members with questionnaires, but how can we really know who to trust? Dirk said he was a med student, but is he really? He seems like a perfect gentleman, but how do we know?
With online dating becoming an increasingly popular alternative to the club scene, awareness of personal safety is a must. Here are 10 online dating safety tips to keep in mind if you're considering the cyber dating experience:
1. Be skeptical. Mr. Right may turn out to be Mr. Wrong, so use common sense and follow your gut instincts. Be alert for inconsistencies, be objective, selective and don't rush. If something doesn't feel right, terminate communication immediately.
2. Investigate the dating service: Are they reputable? Well-known? What is their privacy policy? What experiences do other members have? These services aren't responsible for your safety, so you have to be.
3. Don't disclose personal info on an online dating service profile: This includes your name, phone number, street address, work location, website, e-mail address. Mr. Wrong could locate you and things could go terribly wrong.
4. Communicate via dating website only: Most dating sites have their own Instant Messengers and chat rooms. Take your time. If he is interested, he will want to get to know you as well and will want you to be comfortable. He can wait. Can you?
5. Use a Yahoo or Hotmail account when e-mailing privately: At least until you become better acquainted with your pen pal. Save copies of e-mails should questions or suspicions arise. Exchange photos. View him from several angles should he show up in your neighborhood on your doorstep one day.
6. Make your first phone call from a public phone: Make it hard or impossible for your correspondent to identify you or locate you. Enjoy a telephone romance at first. Conversation and tone of voice can be very revealing. Ask a lot of questions about his family, friends, work, hobbies, hopes, dreams, disappointments. Listen for red flags: Irrational outbursts, unrealistic demands, obsessive or possessive attitudes, demeaning remarks. Use caller ID blocking until you're comfortable in removing it.
7. Run a background check: Wouldn't you like to know he is who he says he is? Wouldn't you like to know if the guy is lying about his marital status? Wouldn't you like to know if he has a criminal record? Lied about his profile?
8. Let a good friend know what you're doing: Even in the getting-acquainted stage. You don't have to divulge every tiny detail, but do let her or him know you're accessing a dating service should something go wrong. If your pen pal seems to be Mr. Right and you two plan to meet in person, let your good friend know who Mr. Right is, where he's from, where the two of you are going, and when you'll be back. Leave his contact information with her.
9. Meet Mr. Right in a public place: Use your own transportation and don't get in his car on the first date. Don't go to his home or invite him to yours until you've met several times in public. Don't rule out bringing a friend along for a second set of eyes and ears. Make sure a lot of people are around, and don't re-locate the meeting elsewhere. Use your own transportation to get home. And go home, no matter how great he seems. Avoid isolated areas. If flying to meet him, arrange for a hotel room and rental car. Don't disclose your hotel or room number. Never leave your drink unattended, and don't let him give you a drink unless you've seen the server pour it.
10. If something goes wrong...If something feels wrong, excuse yourself and leave. Don't feel bad about red flags. Your safety is of utmost importance. If you need to ask for help from someone close by you, do so. Report any problems, verbal attacks or physical threats to the police and to the dating website. It is a crime and you just may prevent him from doing it to someone else.
Not all online dating is dangerous. In fact, there are positive stories of two strangers meeting, becoming acquainted, meeting in person, and developing a meaningful relationship. We shouldn't rule out online dating completely, just play smart and keep in mind the above online dating safety tips.
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